Humans are a peculiar bunch. That’s a fairly unanimously accepted premise. But we never really interrogate just how weird we all really are. Like the sports we choose to play. Rugby is quite bizarre. So is tennis and football too. but they make sense to us now. Here is a list of utterly bizarre sports that you will probably never play.
1) Chess Boxing: Germany and the United Kingdom seem to be the most popular places for this pretty warped sport. Two rounds of boxing and then a round of chess. Beating each other with body and mind. Bizarre.
2) Cheese Rolling: not for the lactose intolerant, cheese rolling requires a competitor fearless of injury. Or they just need to be drunk. A bunch of people gather on top of an extremely steep hill and race after a round of Double Gloucestershire cheese which rolls down the hill reaching speeds of over 100km/h. The idea is to catch the cheese, but that doesn’t really happen. The winner is the first one down.
3) Dog Dancing: This is twisted. Owners and dogs choreograph a dance sequence between them and their pet. This particular video has a woman dressed as Olivia Newton John in Greece dancing with her dog to song lyrics like: “Better shape up, ‘cos I need a man. And my heart is set on you…” Wow.
4) Quidditch: Yes. From Harry Potter. Wtf? So the game is the one where the wizards and witches zoom about on their brooms and perform magical moves against their opponents. This version is played in reality… with no magic, that’s right.
5) Zorbing: New Zealanders are quite a far way away from the rest of the world, so it’s not surprising they have to invent bizarre sports to keep them entertained. It looks like they did a good job here.
6) Shin Kicking: The British are thugs. Look at this sport. You kick each other in the shins until one geezer falls over.
7) Wife Carrying: It seems a good idea to bond with your spouse through a little bit of exercise, but this might be misguided. Your wife wraps her legs and arms around you in what appears to be a wayward 69 position and then you run through an obstacle course. Trouble and strife.
8) Buzkashi: It’s Afghanistan’s national sport and played by other countries ending in stan. It is like polo, but instead of a ball and sticks you have to drag a dead animal across your opponent’s scoring line. Yeah a carcass for a ball.
9) Cycle Skating: These guys didn’t need any fancy inline skates or rollerblades. They just stuck two wheels on their shoes.
10) Ice Rugby: And your mom thought rugby was dangerous enough already, some silly sod decided to put it on ice.